To start off, my first draft used my homework basically copied onto the document, not very organized, but many of the ideas were similar. There was a lot more organization and cleaning up going from my first draft to my final paper. I weaved in more quotes from both Dweck and Lukianoff/Haidt. For example, I used a quote in my first draft from Dweck: “…And are they carrying this need for constant validation with them into their future lives…?” and had changed it to: “First of all, [Dweck] can praise wisely, [by] not praising intelligence or talent. That has failed. Don’t do that anymore…” seemed to make that paragraph a lot stronger in the end. This quote was more suited for the point that I was trying to get across.
As for refining my position with Lukianoff and Haidt, I had inserted more explanation and a better quote to the beginning of the drafted paragraph, to sort of ease better into it, instead of being super upfront with it. I decided to add what the authors decided to describe microaggressions and trigger warnings as before I went into my opinion on that description. Overall, it feels a lot cleaner, and I felt I stated my position better because of it. Although, I did have some trouble in both versions with forming good connections, which can be explained further in both Integrating Ideas and Individualized Error.
